Angry At 2016? Here’s What You Should Do ‘Bout That:

2016 sucked.

We all know it did, cuz there are memes to remind us:

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We all know the reasons, too. But to remind you all, here’s one of them:

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So, as we look back and cringe at this year, there is little to lift our spirits.

Yes, there were small victories for 2016. All of them being Beyonce:

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But it’s hard not to concentrate on the negative.  It’s hard not to be feel sour. It’s hard not to be a Debbie Downer, especially when you see progress flushing down the drain.

Side note: why is it that the Drain of Progress the only one in the world that doesn’t get stopped up by your sister/cousin/girlfriend’s hair? HMM? Bitches can’t take a shower without flooding it like New Orleans. (too soon?)  Even the “Swamp Drain” that Trump promised got stopped up when his hair-plugs washed down it.

Negativity is easy. Anger is an instant reaction.  And honestly, Sorry Michelle Obama, I don’t feel like Going High right now – I want to get down in the gutter with these fools and be fucking PETTY.

But really. Why get angry when you can get mildly passive aggressive, go too far, and then fall into an all too familiar pit of hatred of yourself? Sounds like a great year to start off the new year, am I right?

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Probably not. 

So, here’s my list of ways to get over your anger for 2016.  It’s in no way exhaustive, but it was exhausting to think of:

1. Suck It Up Buttercup:

You know, like that scene from Lady and the Tramp where they slurp up that spaghetti?  Think of your anger as the spaghetti.  Suck it up, internalize it, get a kiss from a higher-class pup, get married, then realize your anger has been festering inside you this whole time and take it out on your marriage.

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2. Look Ahead To 2017

The year that Trump actually becomes president. YAY.

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3. Try Not To Think About It

I used to have a friend who’s only advice was “Try not to think about it.” Here’s an example:

Me: “Susan, my house caught on fire.”

Susan: “OH NO!”

Me: “And My Cat Was Inside of It”

Susan: “Well, At Least You Don’t Have To  Pay For Cremation”

Me: “That’s A Horrible Thought”

Susan: “Yeah. Try Not To Think About It”

4. Go To Therapy

This one isn’t a joke, actually. Therapy is V good and probably necessary within the coming months.

5. HUG IT OUT

Find a friend or 2 who understand.  Give them a BIIIG hug. Cry it out on each other’s shoulders. Vent if you have to. Complain. Talk about your shared problems. Come up with a solution. A plan if you will. Write down said plan. Maybe on social media. Have other kindred spirits you haven’t seen since high school like your post. Maybe they will share it.  1 “friend” will probably rant about “Giving Trump A Chance” or something along those lines. Skewer their ass with facts. Wait… Trump supporters don’t believe in facts. Maybe you should just block them? NAH. SKEWER THEM SOME MORE. Be emboldened by your victory. Take your fight to reality. PROTEST. FIGHT EVERY WRONG MOVE TRUMP MAKES. STAND UP. STAY ANGRY.

have a heart attack at 50

That’s all I got. I’m too angry to write any more.

Bye 2016.

Nice knowing ya.

dickwad.
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